i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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