literally had 100 drinks last night.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
