Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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