with your own penis?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
