he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
