I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize