he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
