I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
