I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
