oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
