Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
