I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize