who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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