I haven't been this sober since birth.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
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I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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