You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
