the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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