U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
