Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
