That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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