I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize