My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
