the condom got lost in my hair
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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