Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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