I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
