I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
