You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Randomize
