with your own penis?
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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