i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
as a side note pls kill me
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
