what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
