i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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