so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
porn star boner night. come get it.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
