i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
