I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
