I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
