ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
