Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism

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(410): View more from Maryland

9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.

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(613): View more from Ontario

you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved

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(425): View more from Washington

i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"

(206): View more from Washington

do it. it's every man's dream.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty

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(661): View more from California

When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience

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(707): View more from California

I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall

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(703): View more from Virginia

Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.

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