i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize