i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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