I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
