Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
