You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize