i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
