I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
