why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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