Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
