Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
