You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
