Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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