i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
