it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize