Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
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Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
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He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
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