I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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