HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
