People with herpes should wear stickers.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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