did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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