can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
