I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
